


Sounds Legit

by FactCheck



Series: Requests [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Anal, But it was in the prequel so!, Crack, Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante Lives, Donquixote Doflamingo Being an Asshole, Donquixote Doflamingo Really is the Nosy Aunt No One Wants, Forced Crossdressing, Fucking Your Brother's Adopted Son, Go-Go Island, Humiliating Your Brother, Humor, It is HEAVILY crack, M/M, Making VERY Bad Decisions, Misunderstandings, Misuse of power, Not the prez who sucked ass, Okamas Tear Down Your Self Esteem, Okay so Rosinante/Kuzan is really really really minor as in Kuzan isn't even named, Protective Father, Public Humiliation, Sleeping Your Way To The Top, Technical Incest, Tricky Dick, Wall Sex, as in no seriousness nor chill to be found in this, marine AU, pls just read after reading Pediphioia, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FactCheck/pseuds/FactCheck
Summary: What exactly WAS Doflamingo doing during the whole Akainu stuff and shit? Find out here





	Sounds Legit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [owl_beans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owl_beans/gifts).



> owl_beans betaed this and also wrote the first part so here goes

It was while Doflamingo had Law pressed up against a wall, pounding away like there was no tomorrow, that he remembered that his current actions were not 100% in line with his brother’s wish.

In fact, it could be considered 100% exactly the opposite of his brother’s request, but Doflamingo supposed that it was Rocinante’s fault for thinking Doflamingo would keep his word.

Plus, Law was fantastic!

He was a little surprised at just how easily the kid stopped trying to kill him and dropped trou at the slightest mention that Doflamingo could get his position bumped up a notch or two with the Warlord’s good word.

The blond wondered just what kind of man his brother raised for Law to be so obsessed with raising rank.

Doflamingo shrugged, the action entirely unnecessary but something he felt like doing even if it was purely for himself, and continued fucking his brother’s son into the wall.

“You’ll really put in a referral for me with the higher ups?” Law panted out, eyes looking absolutely ravished for the promised position.

Doflamingo banged into him harder, cumming an absolute buttload before pulling out.

“Uh, yep! I’ll definitely do that!” He patted the power-hungry bitch’s face. “You’ll pretty much be at the top in no time!”

With that he got dressed and almost left before turning and throwing some coins at the boy just because he thought it would be funny.

Law grumbled as the change hit him and threw an angry glare over his shoulder, so Doflamingo decided it was worth it because it definitely was funny.

Doflamingo’s next stop was home where he could be pampered by his Family and tell them all about how he humiliated that brat who abandoned them.

Trebol found the coin bit absolutely hilarious.

_____________

Doflamingo wasn’t at all surprised to hear from his brother again. He had been expecting the call, whether it be because Rocinante was begging him to do it or accusing him of backing out of the promise.

He was not, however, expecting Rocinante to call him gushing with thanks at the successful assassination of Akainu.

“I knew you’d do it, Doffy! Thank you so much!” Rocinante cried into the denden snail, his snot and tears nearly palatable through the receiver. “I’d never thought I’d have to thank you for anything, but you really did me a solid, Doffy!”

Doflamingo’s brows rose in surprise but a feral smile quickly took over his face.

“Of course, Roci! I’m never one to back out of a promise,” Doflamingo held the snail away from him as he snickered into his elbow. 

This was just too funny!

“So, now that I’ve done my promised part of the deal, it’s time for the payment.”

Rocinante got quiet on the other side, his nervousness clear.

“I’ll try what I can, Doffy, but I don’t plan on betraying anyone.”

Doflamingo waved the worry away, ignoring the fact that he was alone in his room and his brother couldn’t see him.

“No no no! Of course not, Roci! I know you’re the last person to betray something (or someone) whom you had claimed loyalty to!” Doflamingo made sure to lay it on thick so Rocinante felt like the piece of shit he was. “I was just hoping you’d tickle my funny bone a bit, you know? Give me something to laugh about.”

“I’m listening,” Rocinante hedged, his interest peaked but still obviously cautious.

“Meet me at Go-Go Island at 11 pm tomorrow night. Can you do that for me?” 

Rocinante was quiet for a few seconds before he gave a firm acceptance and he too hung up.

Doflamingo set the snail down and went off to find Giolla.

This was going to be fun!

_____________

Rocinante was so painfully obvious in his disguise that Doflamingo almost felt like just watching him try to blend in was hilarious enough, but he REALLY wanted to see his brother in Giolla’s creation.

“Hey, Roci!” Doflamingo greeted, banging his hand down on the man’s shoulder.

Rocinante fell forward, directly on his face, and Doflamingo snickered at the sight, not bothering to help as his brother struggled to stand back up.

“Uh, what’s good, Doffy?” Rocinante replied after brushing himself off. “It’s really, um, great to see you again!”

“I couldn’t say the same!” Doflamingo smiled widely back. Rocinante’s brows creased and his own smile faulted before Doflamingo trucked on. “I got something for you!”

Doflamingo held out the bag in his hand, his grin nearly blinding, he was sure of it.

Rocinante took the bag warily, looking it over with trepidation.

“Um, what is it?” He questioned.

Doflamingo sighed in exasperation, feeling like he just didn’t deserve to put up with his brother’s idiocy just to have a little fun. Rocinante should bend over backwards just to entertain Doflamingo of his own free will.

“People typically look inside things given to them before questioning what is inside said thing!” Doflamingo snarked back, tapping his foot impatiently.

Rocinante frowned but opened the bag up, face blanching when he saw the ugly array of colors and patterns inside.

“What is this?” Rocinante echoed again.

Doflamingo laughed, not caring about his brother’s stupidity in the face of his well-earned reward.

Or perhaps it wasn’t well-earned, but that was besides the point.

“It’s a dress!” He grinned wildly. “I want you to wear it and go into the Okama District to pick up a man.”

“I have a boyfriend, thanks.” Rocinante frowned, handing the bag back.

Doflamingo’s smile fell.

“A what?”

Rocinante pursed his lips back at him, frown still downturning his mouth (as frowns are want to do).

“I have a boyfriend.” Rocinante replied, arms crossing over his chest.

Doflamingo filed that thought away for later research before shaking off the claim.

“Okay, I want you to wear this dress and go into the Okama District to get booed at relentlessly for your horrid fashion sense and ugly face!”

Rocinante’s eyes narrowed but he took the bag back, eyeing the contents and sighing to himself in acceptance.

“For Law.” He finally got out, going into a building to borrow their bathroom.

___________

Hours later, Doflamingo and Rocinante exited the Okama District, the former laughing his ass off as he held his stomach and the latter crying profusely, makeup running down his face in messy streams.

Rocinante looked worse for wear, his horrendous dress tattered and torn, hanging off of on shoulder haphazardly. His makeup, while running down his face, was smeared with hand prints and layers of different makeup that the Okamas has tried to plaster on his face to make him more presentable, all of them ultimately giving up and spitting on him while claiming he was just too ugly to fix.

“How could they?!” Rocinante bemoaned, trying to fix his dress that had been deemed utterly hideous as Okamas had swarmed to rip it off him as if it was an offense to them personally that he would wear something so garish. “Half of them looked worse than me. Right? Right?!”

Rocinante clung to his brother, desperation falling off him in waves.

Doflamingo flung him off with another laugh, Rocinante falling into a muddy puddle pitifully which only made Doflamingo laugh louder.

“Nope! You were the worst there!” He snickered, leaving his brother in the mud.

Doflamingo wasn’t going to tell his brother that he had paid the Okamas to come and tear Rocinante a new one, too overjoyed to ruin the moment by lifting Roci’s self esteem.

Rocinante sobbed into the dirt before standing up, running back home to be comforted by his boyfriend.

Doflamingo got back to his castle and shared his tale with the Family again. This time Vergo being the one to get the most amusement, his lips tilted a whole centimeter upwards.

When he got back to his room, he wasn’t expecting another call, especially not from his brother’s idiot son who banged everyone with power he could.

“Hey, thanks for keeping your word. I got picked to be an Admiral after Akainu mysteriously died. If you ever want to fuck again, just call me.”

Doflamingo smiled into the receiver.

He just might, he decided. If only to let his brother catch them and lose all will to live.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in an hour could you tell?


End file.
